Not long ago we discussed the keys to an achievable outcome.  And I understand that sometimes these ideas or techniques all seem a bit “pie in the sky” for some folks not used to thinking this way.

Or we lapse into the “I know, I know” and then fail to act on the information or tools at our disposal.

All too often, it seems, we can fall into the thought trap of… “it might have worked for so and so, but it certainly won’t work for me.”

Well friends, that’s dangerous thinking.  And, more importantly for our discussion, a limiting belief.

Limiting Beliefs

So what’s a limiting belief?

Those deeply held convictions that somewhere in our past we decided were true for us. And those deeply held truths, in the case of limiting beliefs, hold us back from achieving our goals.

Quite simply, these “internal road blocks” to our thinking often derail our plans before they begin.  They are, if you will, “self-destruct” sequences turning our dreams and desires into dust before we ever start working on making them come true.

To become successful, to achieve the outcomes of our heart’s desire, we must first of all believe that we CAN achieve that which we set our minds to.

Now, hearing that someone inevitably says “well, I mean you can’t do anything and everything you want.”

True enough, your goals have to be “realistic.”  And that means achievable.  Humanly possible.

But before you pat yourself on the back with the “you can’t do everything” argument, understand that the recent election demonstrated that one person’s “impossible” was another person’s “possible.”

Be Specific

In the above mentioned post, we already discussed the need to be specific about our outcomes. And perhaps it’s an easy point to overlook or dismiss.

Well, did you know that many folks in the “internet marketing” world have been using the principle of NLP to become financially successful?

It’s true.

In order to attain the success you’ve dreamed of (and perhaps given up on long ago), you must be specific about what you want, and then act on bringing about your specified goal.

It really is that simple.

Now, rather than continuing on and on repeating what we discussed a short time ago, I’ll refer you to a video I found online that talks about success principles and turning your vision into reality.

One note of caution: you may want to skip the first 9 minutes or so of the video.  It was tough for me to sit through, but the remainder of the video was definitely worth it.

You don’t have to do all the stuff at the end (like giving your email address and all that).  The point is to listen to the success principles shared in the video.  I hope that sounds fair enough to you.

Enjoy.

A Case Study

I recently watched a DVD on business success by Eben Pagan, and something he said reminded me of a situation with a friend.  To paraphrase the quote…

“The two big hurdles in business involve emotional estimation, and only seeking validation.”

Powerful stuff.  So let’s unpack this a bit, and then I’ll share a story my good friend Mark (and NLP Trainer) was kind enough to share with me.

Emotional Estimation

Emotional estimation is what we do when we think of a future outcome, and assign emotional values to it.  Here’s an example of a common one…

“When I have X, then I’ll be happy.”

Of course, in the example above, “X” can stand for lots of things.  A new home, new relationship, or other change to our status, condition or lifestyle.  It can also involve satisfying a desire.

So what’s the problem?

Have you ever heard the expression:

“be careful what you wish for, because it just might come true.”

Well, the basis of that expression, in my opinion, is a recognition of how emotional estimation often fails us humans.  We are, simply put, really bad at predicting how we will REALLY FEEL once we get our desired “X,” whatever that may be.

What about “only seeking validation?”

Seeking Validation

The case study involving my good friend Mark will hopefully shed some light on this one.

As an NLP Master Practitioner in private practice in New Haven, Mark will get a number of calls each month from folks wanting to clear up some issues.  Generally they find him online, through his business contacts, and advertising.

Inevitably they ask about his fees.

And that’s when the first issue arises.

Call it sticker shock.  Whatever.  Anyway, some people can’t get over the fees, and will ask why he doesn’t “just help out folks and not charge so much.”  And being a good guy, every now and then he’ll decide to work with someone pro bono, or in trade.

And that’s a potential issue as well.  How come?  Well…

Just a few weeks ago he worked with someone near my town, and they had a great session.  In return for the session the woman agreed to place Mark’s ad in her weekly newsletter for one year.

Seems like a great deal, right?

Anyway, she was able to clear up lots of stuff in an afternoon.  And the normal scheduled follow up call took place a week later.  As Mark told me, the woman interrupted the call at least 4 times to handle other issues in her office.  Calls.  Email.  Whatever.

And it didn’t stop there.

She then mentioned how she wasn’t feeling any better, and wasn’t sure their work together resulted in any positive change.  They agreed to part ways, and Mark wasn’t sure if he’d get the advertising in exchange for his lost afternoon.

So how did this all go wrong?

Well, in my opinion, because she didn’t pay his going rate, right up front there was a built in failure mechanism.  It goes something like this…

The work, being perceived as free, was not seen as valuable.  The lack of attention in the follow up call, and the claim that it didn’t work, justifies for her the decision not to pay his fee.

It’s sort of like saying “wow, I’m glad I didn’t pay for this, because it just didn’t work for me.”  It’s a built in mechanism for discounting the progress made on the previous session, which, in her own opinion that day, resulted in noticeable progress and relief.

Now, I’m not claiming to read minds here (a big “no no” in NLP).

What I am suggesting is that when we seek validation, we tend to block out huge segments of data to support the answer that we want all along. It’s like the person who asks the opinions of dozens of people until he or she finds the one person to agree with them, and says “aha, I’m right after all.”

As we all recognize, it just doesn’t work that way.

So in Mark’s case, it just seemed to me that this woman’s inability (or lack of desire) to pay for their session together could have sown the seeds for it “not working out” for her.

In not wanting to feel “guilty” and in order to justify the choice not to pay (not to mention having received his services without “paying him back” with free advertising yet), their session together seemed doomed from the start.

Earlier we discussed briefly the presuppositions of NLP.  Well, one of those presuppositions, and to my mind the most meaningful one, is this…

YOU are in charge of your mind, and therefore your results.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way.  And sometimes it does’t feel that way.  But it is true.  You CAN take charge and make the changes you want in life.

NLP shows you how.

If I had to describe the basis of NLP, it would be “results.”

See, though there is a comprehensive body of work written about NLP, complete with theories, models, and techniques, the strength (and most important CLAIM) of NLP is the results people achieve by using understanding the models and USING the techniques.

Wow.  That’s sure a “mouthful of words” as my son would say.

The point I’m trying to make is that folks using NLP (or working closely with a NLP Practitioner) often achieve spectacular RESULTS, in an incredibly short time. And to me, as someone who has experienced this first hand, we’re talking results that are dramatic and life-changing.

So, if the power of NLP is seen in the results people experience, then you can imagine just how important it is to frame expected outcomes properly.

Meaning, if folks use NLP to make changes in their life, these proposed changes would be more effectively brought about by having them envisioned in a way to make the proposed change possible (or easier).

The Keys.

There are nine “Keys” to an achievable outcome.  They are…

1. Stated in positive terms
2. Specify present situation
3. Specify outcome
4. Specify evidence procedure
5. Is it congruently desirable?
6. Is it self-initiated and self-maintained?
7. Is it appropriately contextualized?
8. What resources are needed?
9. Is it ecological?

Okay, now we’ll go through each key in a bit more detail so you can get a better feel for what’s going on here, and why each key is so important.

Stated in Positive Terms

There are two powerful reasons why this key is listed first. To start with, you have to know what you want.  Not what you don’t want. Know what you want so you can move toward that goal.

Second, your unconscious mind cannot process a negative.  It just doesn’t work that way.

By stating goals in negative terms, you are short-circuiting your success, because your unconscious mind will be working against you and your desired success, and you won’t even know it.

Have you ever heard someone say “why do I always end up with/where I don’t want to be.” It could be they are stating their goals or desires in negative terms.

Specify Present Situation

You need to state your achievable outcome as if it’s already here. Not only that, you have to see/feel the outcome through your own eyes. This term for this is “associated,” meaning seeing through your own eyes.

Specify Outcome

Quite simply, you’ll need to visualize every aspect of the outcome.  What will you…

• See
• Hear
• Feel

when you have what you are desiring?  You have to make this mental picture…

• as if it is happening NOW
• it has to be compelling
• and inserted into your future (NOTE: be sure future picture is disassociated, i.e. not in your own eyes, but AS IF you are observing yourself

Specify Evidence Procedure

This key, simply put, must answer this one question:

“How will you know when you have achieved your desired outcome?”

List the details of evidence that will prove to you, as it were, when you have arrived at the outcome you’ve desired.

Is it Congruently Desirable?

This key highlights the simple fact that changing one factor, facet or part of something has effects on other factors, facets or parts.

Meaning, what will your desired outcome allow you to do, in light of other desires, values, goals you may have.

For change to be lasting, the desired outcome must be integrated holistically with other aspects of you (we’ll discuss “Parts Integration” at a later date, so stay tuned…)

Is it Self-Initiated and Self-Maintained?

This key is probably one of the easiest to understand in theory, and the hardest to put into practice. Quite simply, why do you desire this change?

When I was a smoker, all my friends kept telling me to quit. My girlfriend at the time encouraged me to quit. But I didn’t want to.  So I didn’t.

Only when I was willing to quit was I able to quit. Because then I was doing it for ME. Not my family. Not my friends. Not all those well-intentioned people in my life.

So, the question for you is…

“Why do you want this change?  Who are you desiring to change for?”

Is it Appropriately Contextualized?

This key may seem at odds with the previous one. But it isn’t. All that you need to focus on here is placing the desired outcome into the matrix of your life.

This means you must place your desired outcome into the fabric of your life, to include the…

• where,
• when,
• how, and
• with whom

This will help to anchor your desired change, helping to make it stick.

What Resources are Needed?

This key highlights the fact that, though you may have all the resources at your disposal, you may require some additional resources in order to bring about your desired outcome.

You can ask yourself these questions:

1. Have you ever had this or done this before?
2. Do you know anyone who has?
3. Can you act as if you have it?

Maybe this is a silly example, but if I desired to climb Mount Everest, I would need some equipment (for starters). Then I’d need to know the proper climbing route, how to hire sherpas, etc. And this information could be found online, or through personal contacts, that sort of thing.

The idea being, some change requires a guide. Or specialized knowledge. And this must be taken into consideration in order to have successful outcomes.

Is it Ecological?

Finally, does the desired change fit into your world-view. Ecology gets discussed a lot in NLP, and I think that’s a good thing. Here are some 6 questions you can ask yourself in forming your desired outcome:

1. For what purpose do you want this?
2. What will you gain or lose if you have it?
3. What will happen if you get it?
4. What won’t happen if you get it?
5. What will happen if you don’t get it?
6. What won’t happen if you don’t get it?

That last one often throws people off. Remember, all positive change should increase choice and make your life MORE abundant, not less. So, take these keys to heart and write down your desired outcomes FIRST to see if they fit within the framework of these keys.

Final Thoughts

I hope you found this information useful.  If you’re looking to work with an NLP Practitioner, you can leave a comment here and I’ll be happy to continue the conversation to explore this with you further.

If you’re looking for a training program in NLP, I know just the person for you.  He conducts trainings twice a year, and happens to be a great guy and an experienced NLP Practitioner and Trainer.  You can find his site by going to the link above, or leave a comment here and I’ll be happy to personally introduce you.  Who knows, I might be able to help you get in his program, and at a very reasonable fee as well.

Come back early and often as I continue to post information here about NLP practitioner course work, material, and thoughts.  And thanks for coming by.